Somebody Else's Problem

Lord knows I am not perfect, I have never claimed to be. But some things really bother me, this is one of them, so I hope when you read it you might understand why sometimes we all have to take the initiative to do things and quit letting everything wind up being Somebody Else's Problem.

When I saw her sitting alone in the lobby at this time of evening I knew that something was wrong, something was out of place. At this time of night this lobby is closed down for the day. As I cross the empty lobby to where she sits alone watching a storm brewing outside the windows, something about this gal reminds me of my own Grandma back when she still graced this Earth. Perhaps it was the curly white hair, or the prim way she was sitting with her purse and cane. For a young lady who was eighty if she was a day she held herself in a dignified manner despite the rather confused look on her face.

The gal I am walking with gives me a shrug when I split off from her to go talk to the lady. It was a shrug that said "ha-ha yer on your own..." This annoyed me a great deal as I knelt down on the floor in front of the lady and asked her if she was okay.

---"My daughter was suppose to meet me," she says. "Does this phone dial long distance with money?" she asks leafing thru a tiny little phone/address book.
---"No, but my cell phone can call long distance for free," I offer unclipping one of my phones and together we dial her daughter’s home and her cell, neither of which are picking up. No dice.
-----The little lady looks clearly upset, not knowing what to do. "She was suppose to come after an appointment, she should have been here by now. She'll be here soon I'm sure... I can wait for her."
---"Do you have a family member in the hospital?"
---"My husband came in with the ambulance, and he had to have surgery. They took him up to a room about two hours ago."

The story is becoming more and more clear.

---"What if we went up to your husbands room? Could you wait there with him? I bet if we go up your daughter will find her way there when she arrives."
---"She promised to meet me right here, what if I am not here for her?"
---"We will find her, don’t worry. We’ll find her I promise."

So having said that I go and filch one of PACU’s wheel chairs and settle the lady into it and off we go. Her husband’s room happens to be (of course) on the far side of the complex, and the lady kindly chatters to me as we go up the elevators and down the corridors. From what she tells me she probably could not have walked that far, much less found the room, and that all though her family tries to help her, sometimes they are more of a pain in the rump than anything. This makes me laugh and I pat her shoulder and tell her that at least their hearts are in the right place.

When we arrive at the floor I can see a young woman down the hall animatedly speaking (or yelling which is more likely the case) about how her mother is lost, and how could we have done such a thing? Lose her mother somewhere in here? The nurses look to me as I push "Mom" up the hall and to the room. Daughter stomps up and demands answers. "Where were you? Dad has been frantic waiting for you! Where have you been?"
----"I was waiting for you dear. Just like I promised..."
----"Couldn’t SOMEONE have brought you up here?"

I look Daughter in the eye."We’re here now and it’s okay, that’s what matters most," I say with my smooth cool quiet tone that stops folks in their tracks. It’s not a mean tone or a harsh one, it's a polished one honed over years of experience and it conveys exactly what it needs to. Quiet authority. Control.

With the family reunited again I take the chair and head back to where we had come from. As I walk it grates me, really makes me see red how things like this happen. How many people in the course of the last couple of hours saw that lady sitting out there? How many stopped or paid any attention at all? Well not the desk girls, they had to have known she was there, but the minute their shift is done they are gone come hell or high water. How about the volunteers who man that desk and are suppose to be looking after the patient families? Same scenario, shift is done bye-bye! What about "Gabe" in security when he made his rounds? What about the nurses who come in and out, and who get uppity and swear up and down to me every damn time that they always know when people are out in that farside lobby? It’s a quarrel we continually have over and over again.

Patient care is what we are here to do, but just importantly is care for the family too. People need to pay more attention, pay attention to those little things because they sure as hell matter. This is the medical field that’s why they call us caregivers. If you can’t find it within yourself to take a moment for all of those we care for-patients or their families, you need to find yourself a different line of work. Go be a clerk or a secretary for the realtor, or sell cars on the car lot. Be somewhere where you are not leaving people in the lurch, where you can clock out, walk away and be done for the day right on time and not have to consider anyone but yourself. Seems anymore that people always leave things up to others to take are of, pass the buck.

How folks could just walk away and leave a very confused 80 year old lady all alone in that lobby is beyond me. Floors me! How long might she have remained there? Heaven only knows. Easiest way to put it into perspective is this: What if that 80 year old lady had been someone in your family? What if that lady had been YOU? Makes you stop and think and remember about what really is important in life. Someday I hope that should I ever be in the same boat, me or someone I love, that somebody out there will look out for me or help me, and that I won't just wind up being Somebody Else's Problem.